Armchair Thinker Gifts

'You've been having your damn midlife crisis for eighteen years!'

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

"Feel free to take notes."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

Turkish Democracy

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

The intellectual.

The dangerous world of the armchair thinker

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

The Three Kinds of People

It's 10PM. Do you know who is in control of Pakistan's nukes?

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

"Lemme guess: You're struggling with the French press again."

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

"I don't believe in egrets."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

'She's not very good. She only did three revolutions and her air wasn't all that much.'

"That's right - 'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.' You just keep on thinking that..."

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

"Just when I think things couldn’t get any worse, they replace The Lockhorns with Doonesbury!"

"Would you mind moving to your doggy bed? I'd like to sit in my chair. I know you can hear me. Your book is upside down."

"But now the good guy with a gun has a foot wound."

'Which channel would you like to tut at tonight?'

'War protestor': 'Oh no! Not this again...'

"Before the library cuts I was well-read now I just have ill-informed opinions."

'Do I believe in evolution? - Well, I suppose we should get it over with.'