Armchair Anthropologist Gifts

The First Pandemic

I feel like I'm on the highway of life, but just in a sightseeing bus.

'Primitive people drew symbols on paper to communicate, or as grandmom calls it, writing.'

'If the gods wanted us to walk upright, they wouldn't have given us calluses on our knuckles.'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

"Feel free to take notes."

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Figures from 'Ascent of Man' diagram all do the Conga: 'Let's all fo the Conga, na-na-na-na ...'

A caveman paints from life

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

Anthropologists discover the earliest known depiction of Jazz Hands.

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

Physician tending a mummy.

"I know. Let's wait here until we evolve to an upright position. Then we could reach it."

'Yes, all at once!'

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

'Don't ask me why but he feels a great deal of pride in calling it his 'man-cave'.'

Evolution Exam Results.

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

'You caught it, you gut it!'

Tarzan of the damn dirty apes.

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

Those Were The Days

Indigenous knowledge vs. climate projections and weather forecasts.

"I'm an evolution denier. There's no way those people come from us."

OOG & SONS HUNTING & GATHERING