Armchair Scientist Gifts

"Honey, come look! I've found some information all the world's top scientists and doctors missed."

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"Feel free to take notes."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

"One side is for depression, the other is for anxiety, and if you're still confused make an appointment with the cat."

The intellectual.

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

Turkish Democracy

The dangerous world of the armchair thinker

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

The Three Kinds of People

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

"I don't believe in egrets."

It's 10PM. Do you know who is in control of Pakistan's nukes?

"Lemme guess: You're struggling with the French press again."

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

"That's right - 'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.' You just keep on thinking that..."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

"Damn, I forgot to pack a jumper."

"Before the library cuts I was well-read now I just have ill-informed opinions."

'Do I believe in evolution? - Well, I suppose we should get it over with.'

"Would you mind moving to your doggy bed? I'd like to sit in my chair. I know you can hear me. Your book is upside down."

"Just when I think things couldn’t get any worse, they replace The Lockhorns with Doonesbury!"

"I'm back from Russia. Putin offered me a Dacha to say he's an honest man."

"But now the good guy with a gun has a foot wound."

"Go ask your mother ... and I'll tell you why she's wrong."

Stephen Fry.