Arbitrator Gifts

Mediation at the OK Corral.

"Ahh, the arbitration team is here."

'Ready for your first lesson in negotiations?'

'Right...we've agreed to mediation to decide whether or not we go to mediation!'

'That's your best advice? Play nice.'

'You idiots. When I said settle it like men, I didn't mean real men.'

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

An office worker at the conflict resolution center is stuck between a rock and a hard place.

"That's your best advice? Play nice!"

'How long did you work as an arbitrator?'

BEWARE OF THE DOG!; 'So much for management's pledge to bargain in good faith.'

'Let's arbitrate.'

Monastery Kitchen - Ombudsmonk

"Oops. I aggravated an old arbitration injury."

'This rift between you and Dr. Voight has become a chasm.'

"Just tell us! Do you or do you not specialise in resolving industrial disputes?"

Conflict Resolution Center

"I'm going to the school board meeting."

The Washington Arbitrators

Conflict resolution.

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

'Sorry I'm late. Got stuck on the M25 for two weeks.'

Some Tough Free-Agent Contract Negotiations Currently Under Way

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

"As a rookie, I'm finding one of the hardest things to get used to is older people calling me 'sir.'"

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

"My name's Edwin, and I'm addicted to risk."

With no clear winner, the debate ended in a tie breaker.

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'Should-do and shouldn't-do sound a lot alike.'

Justice

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'Just because you're smarter than me doesn't mean I can't always be right.'

'Right, I've convened these meetings to explore some concerns about the number of meetings we've been having.'

"Not guilty"