Pet Arbitrator Gifts

Do Not Bring Frivolous Lawsuits Against Cats!!!

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

BEWARE OF THE DOG!; 'So much for management's pledge to bargain in good faith.'

'This rift between you and Dr. Voight has become a chasm.'

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

"Now this is a dog park!"

"Three yummies, a pat on the head, and a 'Good doggy.' That's my client's final offer."

'Right, I've convened these meetings to explore some concerns about the number of meetings we've been having.'

"We've got a class-action suit if I ever saw one."

'Rasputin has been declawed: Pass it on...'

'Too old to climb curtains, but young enough to climb on a lap. What's not to love.'

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

"I'm going to the school board meeting."

'Down, Boy!...that is, overruled.'

Conflict resolution.

"... $3 million, I have $3 million. Can I get $4 million? Yes, $4 million ..."

'He can't speak to the dead, but he can speak to the dead.'

The Washington Arbitrators

'Right...we've agreed to mediation to decide whether or not we go to mediation!'

"That's your best advice? Play nice!"

'Let's arbitrate.'

Pythagoras' Arbitration Service. He's very good. He always finds the shortest distance between two sides.

'Now tell me Mrs. Swartsbunt, can you pick out the guy who slaughtered your husband?'

At least your patients can't complain like the medical doctor's do!"

"Ahh, the arbitration team is here."

'Ready for your first lesson in negotiations?'

'How long did you work as an arbitrator?'

Dog hitch hiking for a good home

'If you let me read the SPORTS section, I just may consider moving.'

"You call it training, I call it an apprenticeship. Now pay up."

'Now class, let's not condemn the private practitioner who first saw this case and failed to make an obvious diagnosis."

'Then it's settled. She gets the house, he gets the cars and the video games go to the winner of a game of 'Guitar Hero'.'

Lawrence of Arbitration