Allowance Arbitrator Gifts

"Dad, due to your policy of not raising our allowances, we've voted to recall your mug."

BEWARE OF THE DOG!; 'So much for management's pledge to bargain in good faith.'

'This rift between you and Dr. Voight has become a chasm.'

"Dad, this is Wendy, she's going to re-negotiate my allowance!"

"Allowance?! Yeah, if you take out the trash, I'll allow you to keep living here."

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

"Can you check inside it for me, Mister?"

"Let's face it, Dad. If you really thought I was my own man, you'd give me a raise in my allowance."

"Let's say an immediate $10.00 allowance increase plus an annual 8% cost of living raise and I'll call him off."

'I know that other kids manage on ?5 pocket money - but their parents don't charge them to watch any television programme their parents don't happen to approve off!'

'Right, I've convened these meetings to explore some concerns about the number of meetings we've been having.'

"He just talked me into giving him a 200% raise in his allowance. At least we don't have to worry about him not succeeding in business when he grows up."

"I think you should provide a 401(k) with my allowance."

I'd like to request a transfer to a household offering a higher allowance and fewer choices.

'...but if daddy raised your allowance he'd be hurting the economy by stimulating inflation. You wouldn't want him to do that, would you?'

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

'I'm worth more than $3,000 as a federal income tax exemption. So how about a raise in my allowance?'

'The increased child tax credit is supposed to stimulate the economy...so how about a raise in my allowance?'

"But, pop, I hardly expected the oil price bust to affect my allowance."

'Yes, Bob, Allan's wife did let him buy tickets to the big game, but then Allan didn't spend all his allowance on nachos and beer, now, did he?'

"Why do I need more allowance? Because if you cut me off at 21, these are my prime spending years!"

The Washington Arbitrators

'How about giving me one of those useless fivers you're always moaning about,Dad?'

"When do you think the upturn in the economy will have an input in my allowance?"

"I'm going to the school board meeting."

Conflict resolution.

'Right...we've agreed to mediation to decide whether or not we go to mediation!'

"That's your best advice? Play nice!"

'Let's arbitrate.'

'I already know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about investing my allowance for capital appreciation.'

'If I have to buy my sneakers with MY money, doesn't that blur the line between allowance and support.'

Pythagoras' Arbitration Service. He's very good. He always finds the shortest distance between two sides.

'This is coming out of your allowance!'

"I don't get it. Dad wants to cut the household budget? How do we do that?"