Mid-game Arbitrator Gifts

'They're renegotiating their contracts with the team owner during half time.'

BEWARE OF THE DOG!; 'So much for management's pledge to bargain in good faith.'

'This rift between you and Dr. Voight has become a chasm.'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

"My name's Edwin, and I'm addicted to risk."

'Should-do and shouldn't-do sound a lot alike.'

'Right, I've convened these meetings to explore some concerns about the number of meetings we've been having.'

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

'...60, 80 - whoa! - a hundred bucks! Okaaaay, you've got 20 minutes.'

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

'Geez, Dad! You never scream your lungs out at the refs! Don't you love me?!'

Conflict resolution.

"I'm going to the school board meeting."

"How do you know he was offsides? How do you know anything? Isn’t it possible this is all a dream?!"

Referee's Free Kick Pack

The Washington Arbitrators

'Right...we've agreed to mediation to decide whether or not we go to mediation!'

"That's your best advice? Play nice!"

'Let's arbitrate.'

Pythagoras' Arbitration Service. He's very good. He always finds the shortest distance between two sides.

Instant Replay

"If the Ref doesn't give that, it's the end of football!"

"Ahh, the arbitration team is here."

"Okay, so the object of the game is to get into the most pedantic fight about the rules."

'Ready for your first lesson in negotiations?'

"Your Honor, we, the jury, find this one too close to call."

'How long did you work as an arbitrator?'

'How come I get two yellow cards?' - 'One for the foul and one for the instant reply.'

"Look! Look! I could do that and what would I get? Plenty of earache, that's what! And would I deserve it, I'll say! Tsk!"

'Then it's settled. She gets the house, he gets the cars and the video games go to the winner of a game of 'Guitar Hero'.'

Lawrence of Arbitration

"They think it was an oversight by our oversight committee that caused the recent problems."

"Just tell us! Do you or do you not specialise in resolving industrial disputes?"

Conflict Resolution Center