Agenda Arbitrator Gifts

'Right, I've convened these meetings to explore some concerns about the number of meetings we've been having.'

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

BEWARE OF THE DOG!; 'So much for management's pledge to bargain in good faith.'

'This rift between you and Dr. Voight has become a chasm.'

I want a calendar where every day says here and now

'Duly noted. Now, shall we move on or does anyone else feel the need to have a conniption?'

"My name's Edwin, and I'm addicted to risk."

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

'Should-do and shouldn't-do sound a lot alike.'

"Today's top priority is prioritizing our priorities."

'Just because you're smarter than me doesn't mean I can't always be right.'

'Good - we're finally all on the same rampage.'

"Yay, we have an agenda for today's meeting!"

"Okay, if that's all the finger pointing we have today, we can move on!"

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

'Now that we all agree on the agenda, a show of hands on how many want to keep it hidden.'

"So what's on the agenda today? Let's see--nap, then count my spots, then nap again, then chase my tale, nap yet again, then beg for good, nap, scratch at the door, finally come in and find a spot to go to sleep. Just not enough time in the day."

"I'm going to the school board meeting."

"If there's no further old business, we'll move along to new business."

The Washington Arbitrators

"The subject of this never ending meeting was how to keep meetings short..."

"I, for one, do not enjoy these BYO agenda meetings."

Conflict resolution.

'Right...we've agreed to mediation to decide whether or not we go to mediation!'

L.A. Law

"That's your best advice? Play nice!"

'Let's arbitrate.'

Businessman wonders why he called a meeting.

Pythagoras' Arbitration Service. He's very good. He always finds the shortest distance between two sides.

'I've got a tight schedule.'

"I'm just saying, if you keep insisting we seriously discuss problems and work on solutions, we're stuck here all afternoon!"