Agenda Artist Gifts

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

I want a calendar where every day says here and now

"Let's create an intention make meetings more useful."

'I've got a tight schedule.'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

'Duly noted. Now, shall we move on or does anyone else feel the need to have a conniption?'

"Today's top priority is prioritizing our priorities."

'Right, I've convened these meetings to explore some concerns about the number of meetings we've been having.'

'Good - we're finally all on the same rampage.'

Welcome Bureaucrats! (Convention of bureaucrats).

'The only thing I'm sure of is death and taxes and home work.'

'First item on the agenda...Throw out the agenda!!'

"Yay, we have an agenda for today's meeting!"

"Okay, if that's all the finger pointing we have today, we can move on!"

'Now that we all agree on the agenda, a show of hands on how many want to keep it hidden.'

"So what's on the agenda today? Let's see--nap, then count my spots, then nap again, then chase my tale, nap yet again, then beg for good, nap, scratch at the door, finally come in and find a spot to go to sleep. Just not enough time in the day."

"The subject of this never ending meeting was how to keep meetings short..."

"If there's no further old business, we'll move along to new business."

'The dog ate the flash drive with my homework on it...but I hope to get it back real soon!'

"I, for one, do not enjoy these BYO agenda meetings."

Agreeing to Disagree Mediators...Open.

Edward Colston

"I'm just saying, if you keep insisting we seriously discuss problems and work on solutions, we're stuck here all afternoon!"

"The meeting's at 10. I'll send you a copy of the agenda, the hidden agenda and your personal agenda."

'Surely somebody must know why we're here?'

'I purchased this great book on time management but, with my schedule, I can't find the time to read it.'

Great coaching is about understanding your coachee's agenda..

Computer From Hell

'Ms Ferguson, weasel me out of the 315 meeting.'

'What are we taking a hard look at today?'

'I've an idea, why don't we just tear up all these targets and let people get on with their jobs!'

'You may know where the bodies are buried, but do you know which way the wind blows?'

"Would anyone like to hear about my bathroom extension?"