Arachnid Fan Gifts

'On the positive side, male black widow spiders don't have to worry about sexually transmitted diseases.'

"It's just happened again! I don't get it! Master is such a nice guy: why would the neighbours always decline his invitations?"

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

"Chomp... Chomp... Curry Tree..."

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

Hermit Crabapple Tree

Fish with a human in a bowl.

Fish Tank Label - Corporation Fish

A violin spider and a saxaphone spider

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

I told you we were late!

"Yeah, it's me. I'm gonna be late for dinner."

"This will sting a bit."

"Larry, nooo! Don't look into the BOWL!!!"

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

Civilized Salmon

"Meow"

'I just know I'm going to get a bite soon.'

'Well, back to the old drawing board.'

'Those fish-oil treatments doing your arthritis any good?'

'You've got to help my son, Doctor — he's joined a cult that crawls up on beaches!'

'Oh my! He finally proposed!'

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'

'Mom, there's good news and bad news. The good news is the cat won't be scratching up the furniture anymore. The bad news is... well, um...'

Fresh fish