Reptile Fan Gifts

Tortoises Playing.

"Dude, you're supposed to break the whole egg off not just stick your legs out."

Snake leaving Bowling Alley.

"You don't have a leg to stand on."

'Forget the ball retriever...you can catch it with your hand.'

Drunk lizard/newt gets thrown out of the 'Nibworth Nature & Wildlife Conservation Annual Dinner Dance'.

'This is my new carbon fibre shell: Ten times as strong, fifty times as light...'

"You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours."

'Mom, there's good news and bad news. The good news is the cat won't be scratching up the furniture anymore. The bad news is... well, um...'

.. look what you stepped in!

'Sid, are we poisonous?... Only I've just bitten my tongue!'

Sign reading Slow.

Dinosaurs Anonymous

'Watch me freak Carol out by changing to orange on this pink couch.'

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"I can't change colour."

"I forget the difference - is this a crocodile or a litigator?"

"It's sure good to get out of the sewers on a beautiful day like today."

"I need the sun's energy to warm my blood and give me energy. You could almost say I'm solar-powered..."

Don't be alarmed. The boss sheds his skin every spring.

'I'm not hibernating there again - I got the heebie-jeebies being around so many snakes!'

"Kiss me, you fool!"

"That's such a clever title: I love a good pun..."

"You seem unusually tense today darling. . ."

"Thlippry thnakes. . ."

"What do you mean you got a lube job?"

That Snake Talks Sense

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

"It's the moat Sire, everyone's just hanging out in it."

A takeout container? How are we supposed to carry a takeout container?

"I think the return of the pterodactyls is a little ominous!"

"I'm returning him. He's incredibly condescending."

'A rodent Jelly Cake! Thanks Mum and Dad!'

Wise Asp

"What did I tell you about chewing your food? Now stop that, and swallow it whole!"