Arachnid Aficionado Gifts

'I heard somebody talking about the world wide web, phew! Can you imagine the size of the spider?'

The Hansons' decision to buy an attack spider finally paid off.

"And to think that we created it right here in our little lab."

Rarely seen spiders!

'We did it Earl! We'll make the spider hall of fame for this!'

'She'll have you for breakfast, mate.'

Insect Insults.

Human in a Glass

'I enjoy being a spider, but it makes dancing a nightmare.'

"How was your first day back at school?"

'Oh Charles, you didn't have to get me a tarantula - I'd have been happy with a daddy long legs.'

Why spiders don't like group sex...

Black Widow's husband.

'You call that a web?'

'Uh-oh -- Here comes that Black Widow again to lobby against the inheritance tax.'

Tennis spider net.

'A fail in Web-making? But Darling, it is vital that you master that subject, otherwise, you'll starve...'

"Stick to webs, son, we don't do woolly jumpers!"

Chess Cobwebs

'Single again? What Happened?'

Funky Facts: Spiders.

"Tina Turner was right. . . what's love got to do with it?!"

"Yes, I'm relatively certain the Itsy Bitsy Spider was not, in fact, a Brown Recluse."

"Mike is shelf isolating."

"Hey! That's cheating!"

"Junior, stop that bungee jumping! Do you think that you're spider man?"

Blatant competition in nature.

You must visit my website sometime.

'That 'cute little bug' you fixed me up with turned out to be a black widow!'

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Oh, it's only you."

Spider Parents.

'You ever get that feeling that there's something in your hair?'

"It's a nice location but it needs a bit of work doing to it."

Daddy No Legs

Vegetarian Spider