Arachnid Appreciators Gifts

'You're quick to criticise, but slow to help.'

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

A violin spider and a saxaphone spider

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

'Excuse me - are you organic?'

Fly Hospital: "Just a slight stinging then you'll be fast asleep."

"Whoa, dude. You're talking about the hive mind mentality at this company like it's a bad thing."

Brown Non-Recluse Spider

Want the wings as an appetizer?

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

I was coughing, Frank - I didn't need the Heimlich.

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1, 273, 426 steps."

'For Godsake,Archie! Will you just stop hovering!'

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

Spider Press-Ups

Blatant competition in nature.

'Reallly Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!'

'The squid seems a bit underdone.'

'What luck!'

'Could we fleas get fleas of our own?'

"What can you possibly expect from my client, your honor? He's a wolf!"

Black Widow Diet

"I do appreciate that it eats other bugs, but it also ate my husband."

Fly Club Singer: 'Wherever I Lay My Eggs, That's My Home...'

"Arachnophunnies"

'The larrikin was shirty because his crowdy wasn't flyless.'

"What do I remember about my mother? Well, for starters, she was delicious."

"Put the oven on dear, I've picked us up a lovely leg of salmon."

'I want to know where this relationship is going.'