Appetite Suppressor Gifts

'I don't need to exercise to lose weight. The odor in this locker room suppressed all my appetite.'

'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

"I never dreamed I'd ever enjoy watching my figure this much."

Beer Order

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

"I thought you said I needed to get some 'extra size'."

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

"Well, I'm the company sports champion! During the lunch break I ate more hamburgers than any other colleague!"

"I used to be a medium, but now I'm a large."

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

Valleyview diet clinic

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

"I've been on a diet for 5 weeks and can safely tell you that I've lost 5 weeks."

"You won’t need refills."

Scales

"If there's been a constant theme in my life It's that I'm really thirsty."

"I diet religiously. I eat what I want and pray I don't gain weight."

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

"If you order from our wellness menu, you get a side of yogurt with every dish."

'Never mind how accurate they are -- How DISCREET are they?'

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

"So, it's decided, the party will be on the tenth and BYO drinks as usual..."

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

'Maybe I should change this thing more often...'