Food Temptation Tamer Gifts

Loose Lips Sink Hips!

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

Secretive Weigh In.

To do before Saturday...

"Yeah, my life flashed before my eyes!...OK, it was food - all the food I've ever eaten flashed before my eyes."

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

'Your blood pressure is extremely high - your resistance to things that cause it, extremely low!'

Very fat 'Office' facing more waiters with trays of demand

"Would you buy the apple pie for me? I'm on the 'No You Don't!' Diet."

'I thought I told you to cut down on sugar.'

What's not to like? They're cheap, tasty adn don't destroy the Rain Forest.

"Pick me! No me! Me! Pick me! Pick ME!"

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

'It's an emergency! The sitter wants to know where Marmaduke's doggie treats are!'

'Consider it part of a stimulus package. Do a good job cleaning out the gutters and you get the hole box.'

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

Meat Department

"Okay, we've donated to the Food Bank, Feed the Hungry, Food for Life, Hunger Helpers, Starving World, Second Helpings. . . is anyone else getting hungry?"

"Sealed for your diets protection."

"Self-distancing from that cake was too much for him!"

"It seems that every time I get rid of those last stubborn ten pounds, those darn girl scouts come around with their cookies!"

"I'm starting a new diet today. Let's go out for ice cream to celebrate."

'His name is Ralph, but he'll only come to you if you shout 'biscuit'.'

Self Service, Self Denial

'These are natural and organic ... two slabs of hog's bacon deep fried in crispy batter and dipped in chocolate.'

'It's okay - they're VITAMIN-ENRICHED chocolates!'

"You must learn to fight temptation: the only businesses open at night tend to be bars and nightclubs..."

'I can't understand why I don't lose weight.. I walk five miles a day.'

Sugar Maple: Regular/Calorie-Reduced

"I found a diet website where everything is made out of chocolate and ice cream."

Dieter sees 'Enter at own risk' sign on refrigerator

'Ohhh,a test of willpower eh?? YOU'RE ON!!'

"The diet section is located next to the snack bar."

A woman rides a treadmill as she chases a cookie jar on a refridgerator.