Appetite Suppressor Pillows

'I don't need to exercise to lose weight. The odor in this locker room suppressed all my appetite.'

'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

"I never dreamed I'd ever enjoy watching my figure this much."

Beer Order

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

Valleyview diet clinic

"I used to be a medium, but now I'm a large."

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

"Well, I'm the company sports champion! During the lunch break I ate more hamburgers than any other colleague!"

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

Scales

"If there's been a constant theme in my life It's that I'm really thirsty."

"I've been on a diet for 5 weeks and can safely tell you that I've lost 5 weeks."

"You won’t need refills."

"I diet religiously. I eat what I want and pray I don't gain weight."

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

'Never mind how accurate they are -- How DISCREET are they?'

"If you order from our wellness menu, you get a side of yogurt with every dish."

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

'I'm really thirsty.'

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

"So, it's decided, the party will be on the tenth and BYO drinks as usual..."