App Critic Gifts

"Then your app is wrong. It's definitely snowing."

The top four worst-selling apps.

"Check it out! This app tells me how much money I have in my bank account!"

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"You know, there are other emojis."

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

"Isn't there an app for this?"

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

Twitter censorship

"You'll do everything...accounting, marketing, manufacturing...with no pay or benefits...and three years from now we'll trade you in for a newer, sexier model."

"There's an app that helped me finish grades 3 through 7. If you need me, I'll be in my room playing video games for the next few years."

All the apps hidden within a phone

'My new cellphone has a 'self-help' program...'

'Play post office? -- I don't like violent games.'

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother. Why's that? House of Java .Net Cybercafe. Because how a man treats his mother is a good indicator of how he'll treat a girlfriend. That's why I created an app that calls your phone and displays a photo of you hugging your mom whenever a gorgeous lady is within three feet of you. It also displays a nice, sweet lady whenever you're within three feet of your mom.

Happiness is spending late summer afternoon on a buying binge at the iPhone app store.

"AI chat bot"

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

'Normally, this project would require weeks of research and verification...but luckily there's an app for it.'

God's Phone

'We don't have a cure for your ailment but there is an appropriate app available.'

"Now that we have these Earthlings in our power, we can take over this planet!"

Social media and censorship...

Modern Day Kids Playing 'Telephone'

It tells you the time? That's all it does? Well, isn't that just the cutest little thing?

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

Modern Life Blues

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."