Apology Guru Gifts

'Would you believe, humble pie?'

Priest's 'To do' list.

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

"What do you mean?! That apology is the best piece of fiction I've ever written!"

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

Colin could see that his competitor had obviously done his market research.

Sorry

"Gee, I'm awfully sorry!"

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

"Have I been good or have you been bad?"

"OK, what have you done?"

'Will we ever get a morning-after pill for over-eating?'

Hyacinths

"This is to apologise for the delay in internal mail that you wrote to us about in 1997"

"I'd like to get something for my wife. Do you have any olive branches?"

"Your basic rule of thumb should be,the bigger the guilt, the longer the stem."

"Stop moaning. I said I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

Very sorry

'Next time you apologize, try to do it with no strings attached. String can be very distracting.'

Remorse code

Man looks for wife help from machine.

'No dear, I do not think it's time we homo sapiens apologised to the Neanderthals.'

'I'm trying to make restitution for shredding the sofa.'

'The Pope has decided to issue another apology for not issuing an apology.'

Booger-Boy Scandal 4: 'I just need to craft the text well enough to shut everyone up. . . I sincerely wish they'd all shut up and go away.'

'Let's pretend we're married so we can have a fight!'

"I'm still waiting for an apology!"

'You forgave her for that last week. When you forgive and forget you're not allowed to forget you forgave.'

'I'm not sure what you did wrong but it must have been a doozy!'

'Bob forgot your birthday. He went fishing instead. So he sent you this Excuse-O-Gram. In hopes he won't end up dead.'

Laurel, hi. I brought you flowers. You did. How sweet. You never bring me flowers. Never. Not once. And chocolates. Shaped like tiny cell phones. What bad thing have you done? Spill it!

'Awfully glad you could make it,old boy and please excuse the gloves,won't you?'

'Kevin, I'm sorry for losing my temper on the eighteenth. Ah I see they removed the flag alright.'