Apocalypse Comedians Gifts

The late Cretaceous period.

"Remember when we used to wonder if there other beings somewhere out there?"

"The end of my favorite series is near."

"We found three sort-of Earthlike planets around a nearby star." "Do you think any of them have video games?" "I've been trying to work out the odds of an intelligent species arising and evolving thumbs capable of holding an X-box controller." "Proof of video games would change everything." "I wonder what the aliens on those planets consider sexy." "Living beings creating simulated beings they can smash is the hallmark of an intelligent species."

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

Monster Clown

Angel doing the hula hoop.

'I forgot to cancel the milk!'

"Well, we could just tell everyone we have an indoor pool!"

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

"When was your last meta-physical?"

'It's a deal, for $15 an hour, I'll stand in front of your office.'

"Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about that?"

'We just received a radio signal from Tau-Upsilon that was utter drivel. Do you suppose it was one of their TV shows?'

Zombie Worker Apocalypse

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

'It's just one night of the week you can't go out with your friends! It's not the end of the world!'

'Okay, now I'm hoping he's right...'

"Oh, look—here's the one from last night!"

The End is Near. Have A Cone.

Spiro & Pusho meet an alien.

'Quick! The NINE iron!!'

Wolf clinging on to a speeding space rocket

The World Ends Today!: 'Never mind, dear- better luck tomorrow!'

"Well...this constant badness is just sooo wearisome...."

"We'd better NOT fill up on Earth - I've heard it's very expensive!"

"Gee, I'm sorry this had to happen on our first date!"

"Each person sees himself as a uniquely precious miracle of life but honestly, to me they all taste like chicken."

"Armageddon, armageddon, armageddon, then sports and weather."

'I think we've got something.'

The arc of time & space: Naptime, primetime, snacktime, warptime.

"Up here, we call it 'Nectar of the Gods' not 'Devil's Brew'!"

Zombie Baseball

Astronauts see 'Martian' with fig leaf on face.

They Even Use Astronomy to Screw Workers