Apocalypse Humor Gifts

"Armageddon, armageddon, armageddon, then sports and weather."

"The end of my favorite series is near."

'Have you got the book 'After the end of the world'?'

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

Martians looking at Earth - 'One day son, all this will be yours.'

'It's a deal, for $15 an hour, I'll stand in front of your office.'

"Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about that?"

Zombie Worker Apocalypse

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

The End is Near. Have A Cone.

'Okay, now I'm hoping he's right...'

'Quick! The NINE iron!!'

The World Ends Today!: 'Never mind, dear- better luck tomorrow!'

"Gee, I'm sorry this had to happen on our first date!"

Zombie Baseball

The End Of The Week Is Coming!

TGI Doomsday.

"This may come as a shock to you, but I'm not particularly worried about a zombie apocalypse!"

'Put it on my tab.'

"We're having trouble getting a venue for our December 31st conference, all the staff are asking way too much money"

'The problem is you spend money like there's no tomorrow!'

"It's armageddon week on TV. The death of hope always lightens his mood."

'I think it's most likely a situational depression.'

The late Cretaceous period.

Doomsayer: The end is near!

The End is Neigh

"Well, well, well... We meet again at last!"

Armageddon Cheese - "There's no best before date."

Demonstration march.

"Are forever stamps ok?"

'It's been 3 weeks and still no rapture...I'm not waitin' that long fah you to pay yaw'r bah tab.'

'Oh, my gosh! I had hoped it was just a worldly diversion.'

'My horoscope said I'd have a heavenly day.'

A halo lifts a toupee off an angel.