Apartment Swapper Gifts

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

Fish-tank Skyscraper.

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

"I thought we'd eat out on the patio for a change."

'Honey, I'm home.'

For the musician strapped for space...the Murphy piano.

Natural Phenomena of 15-E

Yeah? Delivery! Come on up!

"How?"

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

A dragon relaxing in a chair staring at a taxidermy knight's head above his fireplace.

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

'I saw a Miniature Dachshund today. NICE dog for a city apartment.'

"Just think- if it really was 'unlivably small,' would they have installed a permanent Ping-Pong table?"

"It's a little bit small,but it's got great cross ventilation."

"Excuse me, but I think you're in my seat."

'I'm coping.'

"I hear that march is coming in like a lineman and out like a lamb...I just wanted to be prepared."

A Room (with adequate light and ventilation, no psychotic neighbors, near a grocery store, in a halfway-decent building in an O.K. neighborhood [not Queens, please God] for under $2000 a month) of One's Own

"I still can't believe you're leaving a two bedroom for a studio."

The runway.

MUM Look what I swapped your mobile for

'23-D meet 17-C, sublet...'

"One BHK, two baths, and sixty three plug points."

'The owner says you can stay free the first month if you can find his lost TV remote.'

'I'm doing a 'pet swap'.'

Person shovelling snow remembering the past

"Is it me, or as the rent goes up, does the apartment actually shrink a little?"

Plane annoys penthouse apartment.

'I'm looking for an apartment near an ATM. I always run out of money by week's end.'

Man reading book 'Feng Shui for Micro Apartments.'

'Well, you do wonder don't you?'