Apartment Swapper Gifts

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

Fish-tank Skyscraper.

"I thought we'd eat out on the patio for a change."

Natural Phenomena of 15-E

For the musician strapped for space...the Murphy piano.

'Honey, I'm home.'

"How?"

Yeah? Delivery! Come on up!

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

'I saw a Miniature Dachshund today. NICE dog for a city apartment.'

A dragon relaxing in a chair staring at a taxidermy knight's head above his fireplace.

"Just think- if it really was 'unlivably small,' would they have installed a permanent Ping-Pong table?"

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

"It's a little bit small,but it's got great cross ventilation."

"Excuse me, but I think you're in my seat."

'I'm coping.'

"I hear that march is coming in like a lineman and out like a lamb...I just wanted to be prepared."

The first day of spring has finally arrived! The only think I'll miss about winter is curling up under a warm blanket straight out of the dryer on a frigid night.

A Room (with adequate light and ventilation, no psychotic neighbors, near a grocery store, in a halfway-decent building in an O.K. neighborhood [not Queens, please God] for under $2000 a month) of One's Own

Psychiatry. Oops, it 3:17, time for me to switch chairs!

"I still can't believe you're leaving a two bedroom for a studio."

MUM Look what I swapped your mobile for

The runway.

Person shovelling snow remembering the past

'The owner says you can stay free the first month if you can find his lost TV remote.'

Mr. Maynard, had you heard that Sean Hannity is coming to the Civic Auditorium? Naturally. I have two tickets to his speech. Would you like to join me? Would you like me to join you? Of course. That's why I asked. Good, then my ticket will be free. Well played, stingy entrepreneur. You're kind to notice.

'I'm doing a 'pet swap'.'

'23-D meet 17-C, sublet...'

"One BHK, two baths, and sixty three plug points."

Plane annoys penthouse apartment.

"Is it me, or as the rent goes up, does the apartment actually shrink a little?"

Man reading book 'Feng Shui for Micro Apartments.'

'I'm looking for an apartment near an ATM. I always run out of money by week's end.'