Apartment Aesthetician Gifts

New Coat of Paint at the Sistine Condos

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

Fish-tank Skyscraper.

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

Upper West Side Story

'Botox...'

For the musician strapped for space...the Murphy piano.

"He lives in a block of flats"

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

'Honey, I'm home.'

Natural Phenomena of 15-E

"It just seems to me, Howard, that you're missing the whole point of having a terrace in the city."

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

"Apricot pit?! Are you kidding, Mister? This stuff knocks raw avocado and almond nut outta the water!!!"

"And these are the Andersons, our tenants."

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Sebum! I think you'll love this property on the left side of the chin. It's a wonderful place to start a pimple."

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

Yeah? Delivery! Come on up!

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

Paving over the window-box

Tragedy and Remedy.

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"

'The old one fell apart.'

Headpiece to E Dowson's 'The Pierrot of the Minute'

"That's the window, dear. The bookcase is over to your right."

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

"Ugh. When will this acne go away?"

Estate Agent - 'They're all mine.'

"If a sixth borough opens up, I'll let you know."

Brazilian Squirrels

"Mr. Potatohead had second thoughts about having a facial peel."