Apartment Designer Gifts

"He lives in a block of flats"

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

New Coat of Paint at the Sistine Condos

Fish-tank Skyscraper.

'More homes and wind turbines planned.'

Upper West Side Story

For the musician strapped for space...the Murphy piano.

Natural Phenomena of 15-E

'If I lived there, the first thing I'd do is have my head examined.'

'Honey, I'm home.'

"It just seems to me, Howard, that you're missing the whole point of having a terrace in the city."

Yeah? Delivery! Come on up!

"And these are the Andersons, our tenants."

Superintendent

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"

"That's the window, dear. The bookcase is over to your right."

Estate Agent - 'They're all mine.'

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

"If a sixth borough opens up, I'll let you know."

"Don't worry son. We're going to get you the best money that medicine can buy."

"The house needs to have comfortable window ledges. Lots of windows! And a fireplace!"

"Counting the space behind the pantry shelves, it's eleven square feet."

Bob hated using the elevator as much as it hated being used.

"I'm sorry, madam, but these units are for display purposes only."

A Room (with adequate light and ventilation, no psychotic neighbors, near a grocery store, in a halfway-decent building in an O.K. neighborhood [not Queens, please God] for under $2000 a month) of One's Own

"I still can't believe you're leaving a two bedroom for a studio."

'Check out my new bed: Titanium frame, extra firm mattress... Should last for years...'

Extremes meet - A very tall guest is shown to a short bed.

"Call me when you've learned how to have an adult relationship with your apartment."

"I think investors have been a bit concerned about these tiny 'microflats' we're converting."

The runway.