Apartment Strategist Gifts

The runway.

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

Water is discovered on the moon....

Fish-tank Skyscraper.

"Did you get my e-mail about who takes out the trash today?"

Upper West Side Story

For the musician strapped for space...the Murphy piano.

'Honey, I'm home.'

"He lives in a block of flats"

Natural Phenomena of 15-E

"It just seems to me, Howard, that you're missing the whole point of having a terrace in the city."

Yeah? Delivery! Come on up!

'You'll have more luck getting the sword out of the stone than getting the remote control out of his hand.'

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"

"That's the window, dear. The bookcase is over to your right."

"Did you order takeout?"

Estate Agent - 'They're all mine.'

'I saw a Miniature Dachshund today. NICE dog for a city apartment.'

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

"If a sixth borough opens up, I'll let you know."

Builder follows an architect's blueprints exactly, including the smudges.

'Yes, there is a bidding war - but I'm almost certain you aren't allowed to take prisoners.'

"The building code says we can use structural steel and poured concrete, and we can go 40 stories high - it doesn't say we have to!"

'A cheap single room for a lodger, close to the city, quiet, easy to clean... here you are, sir!'

Chess cleaner

"Call me when you've learned how to have an adult relationship with your apartment."

"I think investors have been a bit concerned about these tiny 'microflats' we're converting."

"I still can't believe you're leaving a two bedroom for a studio."

"I've been thinking about what you said about three living as cheaply as two"

"Don't get the wrong idea, but I think I should tell you that all my furnishings are from Ikea."

Artists in big spaces paint big canvases, whilst artists in small spaces paint on small ones.

'What would you like done with your DNA?'

It's time to change your "asking price" to "on-our-knees-begging-price."