Apartment Aficionado Gifts

"I would die, but I have a rent-controlled apartment."

"It just seems to me, Howard, that you're missing the whole point of having a terrace in the city."

"Would you like me to show you around my apartment and tell you how much I paid for everything?"

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"

"That's the window, dear. The bookcase is over to your right."

"This building has been sold. If we have any questions regarding repairs or painting, we should call our new landlord, Namaguchi Reality. In Tokyo."

"I like looking at amateur porn, because I like seeing other people's apartments."

"If a sixth borough opens up, I'll let you know."

"Don't get the wrong idea, but I think I should tell you that all my furnishings are from Ikea."

"One BHK, two baths, and sixty three plug points."

Upper West Side Story

"It's Jason from next door. DO we want to buy a transcript of last night's argument?"

Estate Agent - 'They're all mine.'

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

Fish-tank Skyscraper.

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"I thought we'd eat out on the patio for a change."

Pyramid (Drawn from memory) (Pretty accurate)

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

"Once, I tried to change the laces, and the Landmarks Commission came down on me like a ton of bricks."

'Honey, I'm home.'

Natural Phenomena of 15-E

For the musician strapped for space...the Murphy piano.

A large bird house with many compartments; one is labeled "Sup't.".

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

Yeah? Delivery! Come on up!

'Best bit of winter pipe lagging I've seen for ages...unfortunately, that's just the scaffolding.'

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

'Go over that again about thinking you're a gargoyle.'

Bob hated using the elevator as much as it hated being used.

'Don't be alarmed at closing when you sign you name so many times you don't recognize your own signature.'

"As an ex-priest, I'm having a hard time adjusting to these non-cathedral ceilings."

Stable conversion for luxury flats.