Apartment Antics Enthusiast Gifts

"Ah-hah! Gloria Hendershuster, I always suspected it was you stealing laundry!"

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

Fish-tank Skyscraper.

"I thought we'd eat out on the patio for a change."

"What's all this?"

The day Bob finally understood radiation of species.

Upper West Side Story

Complaints at the Beehive Condo

'Honey, I'm home.'

Natural Phenomena of 15-E

For the musician strapped for space...the Murphy piano.

"It just seems to me, Howard, that you're missing the whole point of having a terrace in the city."

Yeah? Delivery! Come on up!

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"

"That's the window, dear. The bookcase is over to your right."

Estate Agent - 'They're all mine.'

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

"If a sixth borough opens up, I'll let you know."

'It was your typical student flat: dirty dishes, broken furniture, grubby carpet and cracks in the walls'

Bob hated using the elevator as much as it hated being used.

'Couldn't you people have a dog or a cat for a pet?'

"When I asked you of you were ready for this promotion, you flailed uncontrollably. Was that a lie?"

"I still can't believe you're leaving a two bedroom for a studio."

Fun with candy.

"I think investors have been a bit concerned about these tiny 'microflats' we're converting."

"One BHK, two baths, and sixty three plug points."

"Don't get the wrong idea, but I think I should tell you that all my furnishings are from Ikea."

"Would you like me to show you around my apartment and tell you how much I paid for everything?"

'Keep that dividing down!'

Retired From Home

'Well, you do wonder don't you?'

"I like looking at amateur porn, because I like seeing other people's apartments."

Mime tip #37: The noisy upstairs neighbors won't hear your invisible broom knocking.