Estate Strategist Gifts

Next, I remember looking down at my body, and my kids fighting over the will.

'What would you like done with your DNA?'

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

Will work for ETFs

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Water is discovered on the moon....

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

"Did you get my e-mail about who takes out the trash today?"

"Good news. Your medical prognosis is right in sync with your retirement portfolio."

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'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

Contest of wills.

The early days of Warren Buffett.

Pets in Attorney's office - 'The iguana gets everything.'

"Potential buyers of the company are coming through today. Tell everyone to look sharp and put a few bowls of potpourri here and there."

One tends to the sick. The other manages a large estate. Interestingly, a caregiver and a caretaker are not on opposite sides of an interaction.

"I made my money the old fashioned way...a team of high priced lawyers litigating round the clock."

'These are tough times for wall street tycoons...the best we can do is laugh half-way to the banks.'

'Life, liberty & the pursuit of tax shelters.'

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

'You'll have more luck getting the sword out of the stone than getting the remote control out of his hand.'

'I realize money can't buy happiness, so I'm just trying to improve the exchange rate.'

'It looked a lot bigger in the photos.'

"For my will I decided to cut out the middle man and bequeath all my money to the IRS."

Finance Co., Refinance Co.

Law Offices. Ernie's client left his fortune to his dog, and his cat is contesting the will.

"Unless you really don't like one of your children, it's best to leave your debt divided equally between them."

'He must not have been an easy man to care for. He always had an iron will. Which brings us to what he left you.'

'I need three estimates before I appoint an estate agent.' - 'Right, £120,000, £130,000 and £140,000.'

Tonight's Lecture: Contesting the Will. It's going to be about either inheritance law or who really wrote Shakespeare's plays.

'For those with particularly ungrateful children,the inheritance tax can be a comfort.'

God changes His will.

'Yes, there is a bidding war - but I'm almost certain you aren't allowed to take prisoners.'

'Reinvent yourself. You write off the whole thing as a business expense!'