Property Tax Strategist Gifts

'What the... they raised our property tax assessment 21 percent because we added a birdbath!'

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

Water is discovered on the moon....

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

"Get someone to make the slot bigger."

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

"You know what I hate about getting older? I don't have the reflexes to dodge taxes like I used to."

If this carries on we're going to lose all our tax losses.

The Mattress Savings Bank

'Keep a lid on it!'

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

'A tax audit? I out sourced my books, records and book keeping to India months ago.'

'I'm worth more than $3,000 as a federal income tax exemption. So how about a raise in my allowance?'

'Someday, son, this will all be yours...to give to the IRS, thanks to the back taxes I owe.'

'Wasn't that the Chancellor?'

How to make sure he won't see his shadow.

'She didn't marry him for his looks or personality - she needed his debts for a tax write-off!'

'Before you return Principal Harris's phone call, I would like to remind you that having a 'living' dependant is an excellent tax deduction.'

'Yes, there is a bidding war - but I'm almost certain you aren't allowed to take prisoners.'

'Look at it this way, if you didn't have to pay all that money in tax, you'd go out and spend it anyway.'

'Reinvent yourself. You write off the whole thing as a business expense!'

'When I was a youngster I was going to be a Rock GOD, but the allure of working with multi-denominational tax efficient offshore bonds proved too strong.'

IRS, 'Two jobs? -- Oh, the greedy type, eh?'

"Ah Watson, reducing your taxes was simplicity itself. They were but elementary deductions."

'There are billions and billions of dollars of unreported income. How come we don't have any of it?'

'Get me into that 15% tax bracket I've heard so much about.'

'A cheap single room for a lodger, close to the city, quiet, easy to clean... here you are, sir!'

'There's more to life than winning; there's also taking losses as tax write-offs, That's it?'

'What would be the point to be super-rich if we're super-taxed?'

'Your money? — does it or does it not have 'United States Treasury' printed on it?

"Since I never actually go to the gym, can I deduct the membership fees as a charitable contribution?"