Tax Strategizing Gifts

I heart tax loopholes.

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

"Get someone to make the slot bigger."

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

"You know what I hate about getting older? I don't have the reflexes to dodge taxes like I used to."

If this carries on we're going to lose all our tax losses.

The Mattress Savings Bank

'Keep a lid on it!'

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

'A tax audit? I out sourced my books, records and book keeping to India months ago.'

'I'm worth more than $3,000 as a federal income tax exemption. So how about a raise in my allowance?'

'Someday, son, this will all be yours...to give to the IRS, thanks to the back taxes I owe.'

"Now, Mr. Lindsay. About this non-profit organization you head."

I filed my tax return electronically, to speed things up. Sure enough, I got audited in record time.

'Wasn't that the Chancellor?'

How to make sure he won't see his shadow.

'She didn't marry him for his looks or personality - she needed his debts for a tax write-off!'

'Look at it this way, if you didn't have to pay all that money in tax, you'd go out and spend it anyway.'

'Reinvent yourself. You write off the whole thing as a business expense!'

'When I was a youngster I was going to be a Rock GOD, but the allure of working with multi-denominational tax efficient offshore bonds proved too strong.'

IRS, 'Two jobs? -- Oh, the greedy type, eh?'

Small Business Advisor - Dealing with the taxman.

"Ah Watson, reducing your taxes was simplicity itself. They were but elementary deductions."

'There are billions and billions of dollars of unreported income. How come we don't have any of it?'

'Get me into that 15% tax bracket I've heard so much about.'

'There's more to life than winning; there's also taking losses as tax write-offs, That's it?'

'Your money? — does it or does it not have 'United States Treasury' printed on it?

'What would be the point to be super-rich if we're super-taxed?'

"Since I never actually go to the gym, can I deduct the membership fees as a charitable contribution?"

"With the new tax code, I have until 2025 to become a one-percenter."