Tax Strategies Gifts

"Ah Watson, reducing your taxes was simplicity itself. They were but elementary deductions."

'When I was a youngster I was going to be a Rock GOD, but the allure of working with multi-denominational tax efficient offshore bonds proved too strong.'

'There's more to life than winning; there's also taking losses as tax write-offs, That's it?'

"There is more to life than winning. There's also losing to offset taxable capital gains."

"I'm spending a year in cryogenics, for tax purposes."

'Can Mr Taylor call you back? He's busy visiting his favourite web site.'

'What is the most tax efficient way to invest my savings? Don't tell the tax man.'

Do you know where your tax loopholes are?

'She didn't marry him for his looks or personality - she needed his debts for a tax write-off!'

'Wow! Look at him dodging his taxes.'

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

"Get someone to make the slot bigger."

Offshore tax havens.

"You know what I hate about getting older? I don't have the reflexes to dodge taxes like I used to."

If this carries on we're going to lose all our tax losses.

The Mattress Savings Bank

'Keep a lid on it!'

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

'A tax audit? I out sourced my books, records and book keeping to India months ago.'

'I'm worth more than $3,000 as a federal income tax exemption. So how about a raise in my allowance?'

"Now, Mr. Lindsay. About this non-profit organization you head."

'Someday, son, this will all be yours...to give to the IRS, thanks to the back taxes I owe.'

'Wasn't that the Chancellor?'

How to make sure he won't see his shadow.

I filed my tax return electronically, to speed things up. Sure enough, I got audited in record time.

'Look at it this way, if you didn't have to pay all that money in tax, you'd go out and spend it anyway.'

'Reinvent yourself. You write off the whole thing as a business expense!'

IRS, 'Two jobs? -- Oh, the greedy type, eh?'

'There are billions and billions of dollars of unreported income. How come we don't have any of it?'