Tax Time Strategist Gifts

'All these charitable contributions- You think you can take care of poor people better than the Government can, do you?'

'Your money? — does it or does it not have 'United States Treasury' printed on it?

Leonard's tax return.

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

"Get someone to make the slot bigger."

Tax Collector

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

'Will you bring in Mr.Harris' file - you'll find it under 'U' for unbelievable.'

"You know what I hate about getting older? I don't have the reflexes to dodge taxes like I used to."

If this carries on we're going to lose all our tax losses.

The Mattress Savings Bank

'Keep a lid on it!'

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

'A tax audit? I out sourced my books, records and book keeping to India months ago.'

'I'm worth more than $3,000 as a federal income tax exemption. So how about a raise in my allowance?'

'I'm your fantasy from the U.S. Treasury Department.'

'Someday, son, this will all be yours...to give to the IRS, thanks to the back taxes I owe.'

How to make sure he won't see his shadow.

'She didn't marry him for his looks or personality - she needed his debts for a tax write-off!'

'Wasn't that the Chancellor?'

"Ambitions... to finish on the winning side for a change."

'Look at it this way, if you didn't have to pay all that money in tax, you'd go out and spend it anyway.'

'Reinvent yourself. You write off the whole thing as a business expense!'

'When I was a youngster I was going to be a Rock GOD, but the allure of working with multi-denominational tax efficient offshore bonds proved too strong.'

Congress introducing new tax laws to CPAs and businesses.

"Ah Watson, reducing your taxes was simplicity itself. They were but elementary deductions."

'There are billions and billions of dollars of unreported income. How come we don't have any of it?'

'Get me into that 15% tax bracket I've heard so much about.'

'There's more to life than winning; there's also taking losses as tax write-offs, That's it?'