Antioxidant Seeker Gifts

The Benefits of Red Wine.

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

Muscles

Bench Press Accident

"We're exclusively delts."

'If you want to live a long time, try not to do anything that will kill you.'

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

Exercise Bars

'Hey, Bob, can you get this itch on my chin? It's driving me nuts.'

He's slow and can't see out of one eye, but watch out for his left hook.

"That's right - 'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.' You just keep on thinking that..."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'C'mon, guys. That old geezer just leg pressed 400 pounds when he got up from the chair.'

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

"Pray only for peace, love, strength and forgiveness. Never, ever spam the Lord."

Doctor to Banana: 'Looks like you're going to a ripe old age.'

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

"The doc says I won't even make it another 45 years."

Double Bass Jumpers.

"Oh f*ck yes. Let's make these f*ckers live for-f*cking-ever."

"Holy hell. I should not have based my whole personality around this..."

'I have the feeling my expiration date is nearly up.'

"...And have we been working on our upper body or our lower body?"

'I think it's time to concentrate a little more on your upper body!'

'When will I start to look 'radiant and blooming'?'

"Here's to us, kid—and the healing powers of raw juices."

Macho man body building club.

Nutritional Supplements.

Joe's Gym: 'Can anyone here open this jar of pickles!?'

Win-win. Whenever I hear that from you, I want to hide under the counter. New research shows the only proven way to prolong life is caloric restriction. Eat less, live longer. Introducing our new breakfast meal plan: The Fountain of Youth. You get half a muffin and half a glass of water. Sounds meager. Exactly. That's why we're charging $16. But a full muffin only costs $4. And it won't prolong your life. Can you even put a price on immortality? How much should we charge for an empty plate of ai

Easter Island Rock Climber

"Any other strengths?"