Vulnerability Seeker Gifts

"You call this opening up?"

"I got in touch with my inner child. Unfortunately, I'm not wearing adult diapers!"

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

Computer: 'There are some things it is better not to know.'

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

Three street vendors sit side by side selling their art; two of the vendors are selling normal paintings while the third is a Neanderthal selling cave paintings.

'You don't think you're just a tad overprotective?'

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"This IS my day-to-night outfit"

Hospital Departments

"All the celebrities come here."

'Have you tried removing the blindfold?'

'It's Blurred.'

"Not enough money is being spent on safety, so be careful."

Spelling a newspaper

'I'm afraid we can't make it. Harry just finished watching Meet the Press, C-Span, Face the Nation, Fox News Sunday, the Sunday Times, Newsweek, Time...'

Eureka

"The boss loves the positive feedback he gets every time he says something."

'I have to answer this e-mail from the boss. Can you wait in the hallway for a few minutes? I need my cyberspace.'

"...And in the dream, I was angry at my mother, so I told her she never gave me the love I needed... What do you think it means?"

'Do you ever get this weird, primitive yearning to sit behind a large block of wood?'

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

I'm ego surfing right now, looking up my name on different search engines.

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

Wine connoisseur in search of new vintage.(Wine)

"Safe FDIC insured, guaranteed 2.65% APY...check out our new Emotional Support CDs."

A safe is about to fall on an unsuspecting man interested in risk-free investments.

The Wiki Man.

"And, of course, if I were to get the job and start feeling comfortable here I'd no longer need the security blanket."

Maybe next tiime you'll hand in the risk assessment on time

"Looks like something exciting is happening in R&D."