Protection Seeker Gifts

'My job is to protect you from others like me.'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

Trial by Media

"Good boy."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

The Three Wise Queens

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Ahem. I'm eating. Not now, please. Just one tiny question. Believers I American exceptionalism have always said we're the paragon of democracy. So I'm just wondering … How come one party is passing unnecessary laws that'll keep millions of us from voting? They're robbing us of our voice! Could've surprised me.

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

"Do you mind?"

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

I love Lawyers

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

Government a la Carte

"Now that's a win."

Your enemy is defeated by Fate

Sunbathers.

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

Truth

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

"Who wrote this "Law of the Jungle" nonsense? It is highly biased in favour of predators!"

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

Arizona In Black