Shelter Seeker Gifts

'At least we have a roof over our heads.'

'Edna, these folks say they got driven out of Paradise and they ask if they can stay in the barn for a while...'

"That's better! - I can't bear the noise of the rain on my roof..."

"Too crowded. Let's go."

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

'You don't think you're just a tad overprotective?'

Hello from the shed.

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

"Not enough money is being spent on safety, so be careful."

'He's hoping to get out on appeal.'

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

A safe is about to fall on an unsuspecting man interested in risk-free investments.

'Do you ever get this weird, primitive yearning to sit behind a large block of wood?'

Maybe next tiime you'll hand in the risk assessment on time

"Why don't other people ever do this?"

Retrospection.

Avoiding eternal damnation since 1982

Big bumpers.

"I'll have a gluten-free, hypoallergenic vegan cookie with whipped hand-sanitizer topping."

Laboratory- risk assessor

"Ideally we're keen to go somewhere that they're not trying to kill us."

"I remodelled, but I left it so that when danger threatens I can still take refuge in the redoubt."

Turtle crashes, deploys airbag.

'I'm okay with this... I'm not a risktaker.'

'No, you cannot borrow the car.'

Safe harbour

'I'm taking a poll. Do you feel safe in your own home?'

"If your instincts tell you to go out in a shark infested ocean then go. My instincts are sending me to a nice little aquarium out in the suburbs."

Fireworks Stand: 'Safe, but INSANE Fireworks.'

'Dont' operate any rocks or sticks while you're using this medication.'