Safety Net Seeker Gifts

"You definitely have a case. This says nothing about eggs."

College of Arts and Sciences (and a few things to fall back on).

'Well, you have an excellent life policy -- now, would you be interested in some lifestyle insurance?'

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

'Halloween is just around the corner, kids. Have you decided what are you going to wear?'

Do it! Go into the woods alone!...

'You don't think you're just a tad overprotective?'

'They're showing 'Jaws' on TV tonight: The beaches should be quiet for a few days after that!'

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

"Not enough money is being spent on safety, so be careful."

"Are there any extra crew on board? He still looks hungry."

Horror Theater. Now Playing. Return of the Deficit.

Stephen King

A safe is about to fall on an unsuspecting man interested in risk-free investments.

The Great Maldini and his Venomous Snakes

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

'Do you ever get this weird, primitive yearning to sit behind a large block of wood?'

'Just putt the dang ball, already!'

Human Flesh Eaters: A Romance Comedy.

After the latest pay bonus and benefit awards you've won, I've decided to join you on the shop floor.

"Safe FDIC insured, guaranteed 2.65% APY...check out our new Emotional Support CDs."

"And, of course, if I were to get the job and start feeling comfortable here I'd no longer need the security blanket."

Maybe next tiime you'll hand in the risk assessment on time

Social security.

ACME, Inc. For the man who has everything. It's a home security company.

"I remodelled, but I left it so that when danger threatens I can still take refuge in the redoubt."

"Anything in Mr, Rogers' neighborhood?"

'Next time you lose the school's keys, please call a locksmith instead of using a blow torch on the door.'

Turtle crashes, deploys airbag.

"I'll have a gluten-free, hypoallergenic vegan cookie with whipped hand-sanitizer topping."

"Ideally we're keen to go somewhere that they're not trying to kill us."

Big bumpers.

Laboratory- risk assessor