Safety Satire Seeker Gifts

A man crushed by a bookcase labelled Health and Safety

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

Meet the Enemy

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

Flyfishing for dummies.

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

'I'm sending another scam email requesting money to help free Willy...'

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.

'Another one? Do you realize it will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

'Stick them up...'

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

Coronavirus Waves

"Beware of the frog"

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

"Another flue shot, Larry.

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

'I know how much you like holding hands, so I brought you a box of them..'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

Quality Control

How to win friends and Influenza People.

Torturing the English Language

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'