Shelter Seekers Gifts

"I envy you. I'd love to have a house with a fireplace."

Visual Gag: Animal Shelter

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

Hello from the shed.

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'He's hoping to get out on appeal.'

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

'I seem to be on the range but 'home' is proving illusive.'

"Why don't other people ever do this?"

Affordable housing - Mum and Dads.

'And, as you can see, it is the perfect place to start a big family...'

"I remodelled, but I left it so that when danger threatens I can still take refuge in the redoubt."

Safe harbour

"That's better! - I can't bear the noise of the rain on my roof..."

College of Arts and Sciences (and a few things to fall back on).

Office block moving to the suburbs.

Hiding From Social Media

"The lesbian world welcomed me with open arms -- I can;t just leave."

"Trust me — we’re better off in here."

"Of course it was good, Milton. . . But the best part is it took my mind off the condition the country is in for nearly twenty minutes!"

"Remember when everything used to be so nice and solid?"

'Well, you have an excellent life policy -- now, would you be interested in some lifestyle insurance?'

"I'd feel safer if you were an ex-marine with a gun collection."

'My job is to protect you from others like me.'

'Take ten days off work.'

'At least we have a roof over our heads.'

"It doesn't matter if anyone heard you fall, I am sure we can get you a large cash settlement."

'Now for something in your price range!'. (real estate agent showing birdhouse to couple).

Some don't have strength to bicker about healthcare.

Stun-gun target practice

'Edna, these folks say they got driven out of Paradise and they ask if they can stay in the barn for a while...'