Justice Seeker Gifts

"Ignorance of the law is no excuse." "I didn't know that, either..."

"You have a pretty good case, Mr. Pitkin. How much justice can you afford?"

Law School teacher.

"What are you - some kind of justice freak?"

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"Your Honor, the defense contends its client could never get a fair trial in this court."

"If you want justice, it's two hundred dollars an hour. Obstruction of justice runs a bit more."

'...They were on the verge of working out the problem themselves.'

"Come now, give the system a chance."

"Here are your choices. You can plead guilty."

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"In the interest of streamlining the judicial process, we'll skip the evidence and go directly to sentencing."

"Supermom isn't home right now - she's out fighting for truth, justice and a buck."

'Well, Mr Dinthwait, I think there's quite a strong case for compensation for your whiplash injury from your recent car accident.'

"Forget the bloody glove for a moment; ignore all the arguments about the DNA evidence and try to remember that this case, after all, is about securities violations."

'What makes you think my client is a flight risk?'

Scottish Court Rules Against Johnson's Proroguing of Parliament.

Inequality SeeSaw

'I'm screwed.'

Corruption.

'Will you please answer the question, and this time, without the smoke and mirrors?'

'See? THAT'S globalization!'

'I can't get the tag off my designer blouse.'

"It's the S.E.C. How do you plead?"

'Remember to bill for the time it takes to bill for the time it takes to bill.'

Restorative Justice Victim's Revenge.

'Something about this court makes me uneasy.'

'I didn't hire a lawyer, but I found a neuroscientist who can explain why it wasn't my fault.'

'Have I lapsed into legalese?'

'Apart from illiteracy, low self esteem, homelessness, poverty and a broken home. I can't find any reason for his offending behaviour!'

Closing arguments.

'Be careful, he just charged me $350 for his 'two-cents worth'.'

'...In an attempt to speed up our backlog of cases we've computerized the scales of justice.'

'We find the defense and prosecution arguments totally confusing without a doubt.'