Anti-social Aficionado Gifts

Stay back 500 feet

"China Ministry of State Security Royal Infiltration Training Unit"

"Talk about old New York families—they bought their Warhols new!"

"It's lonely here at the top. Thank goodness I've never been a people person."

"Don't mess with that guy. He's a real hardwood."

"I'm kind of a big deal in antisocial media."

"Sorry, I don't really believe in being social offline."

Unsocial Media

'Use the stepladder. We've started another level.'

Learning to read body language, lesson one: 'Leave me alone!'

Thanks to his reputation as a tough and unfriendly loner, nobody flocked with Randy.

'I thought I heard you rattling around.'

"We've run out of weather-based excuses for this month - we're going to have to find some moral grounds on which to boycott this party.'"

"My YouTube channel The Happy Hermit has really taken off since lockdown began."

"I'm trying to decide between a cocktail with a cute name and one that's blatantly sexual."

The living stream at London Bridge.

'A Chiswick Fete'

'I wonder why we geeks don't get more women?'

Social Networking or Death

"Please forgive my manners, Miss, 'tis the Regency Period and we have not enjoyed rollicking sex since luncheon."

'Sooo......Brian, You think you're good enough for the Humility Club.'

"Social networking lets me be social without actually having to be around other people."

Her man-repellent jumper was delightfully effective.

That's when I decided why should I care

"I miss avoiding people."

"You're dropping by since you're in the neighborhood? Hey, that's great. Unfortunately, we're in our car and, whoa, looks like we're heading into a tunnel. Gotta go. Bye."

"Your father's in a good mood. He's declined 3 friend requests this morning."

How nature says 'stay away'. . . Monday Morning Face.

Man Asking Ugly Woman To Dance.

"I don't think Bob has quite got the hang of the fist bump."

'I won't be sociable, I won't be ....'

"Hi, there. I'm Dick. Are you seeing anyone?"

In view of mounting layoffs and weakening income prospects, Marge keeps the faith.

'I want a welcome mat that says 'Go Away'.'

"See, I said he didn't want to shake hands!"