Anti-rut Enthusiast Gifts

The Rat Race.

'Sorry about this, but I really need a rug for my bachelor pad.'

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

'He doesn't talk to me anymore.'

'I drank 10 pints of rum.'

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

'Oh Elias! It's simply the cutest bear rug I ever did see!'

"My famous chicken soup! The secret ingredient is the rum."

"Great news! They just bought a new rug we can throw up on!"

Michel de Montaigne

A grecian jug depicting a barber cutting the plum of a soldier's helmet

"The carpet really brings the room together."

Parents compare buggies

'You seem to be suffering from frontier mentality...'

Safe sex is not making love with your helmet on.

"Thank you for not taking our customer satisfaction surney at the end this call. Now I can be rude to you with impunity."

'Buck, the town's bein' attacked by thin cans! Sheriff's been lookin' all over for ya.'

A No-Nonsense Guy with His No-Nonsense Wife and Their No-Nonsense Dog

"Whoa! You must have eight rugs on! How's that feel? Are you warm enough?"

A man steps on the tail of an animal skin rug

"Let's cut some rug!"

A rug skinned bear

'What are those brown marks?' - 'The original rust.'

'I could remove the rust,but then what would you drive.'

Man in cell phone shop - 'Do you have a phone that just phones?'

"Oh, and remember to roll up the rug the other way when you're done so it'll lie flat again."

The Doves of War and Peace.

Campaign for Real Spit'n'Sawdust

"Olympics? It's the first I've heard of the Olympics being on."

F&E Floor Coverings. Your carpet will be $750 plus tacks.

'My opinion, right or wrong!'

"For God's sake, have some populist rage."

'I've crossed chalk with cheese!'

'We'd be crazy to vacuum now.'

'Exactly what do you mean, 'He's rug trained'?'