Fitness is for Wimps
Anti-diet Humorist Gifts
Looking for a gift that matches the joyful, rebellious spirit of an anti-diet humorist? Our collection features clever, funny products that embrace food love and self-acceptance. Choose from playful mugs, t-shirts, pillows, and art prints that celebrate humor around body positivity and rejecting dieting culture. These gifts are ideal for anyone who appreciates witty takes on nutrition and self-love, making every day a little more fun and a lot more authentic.
"Two vegans, please."
'What I like best about a magnum of Champagne is, it's a controlled portion.'
'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'
"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."
'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'
Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.
The Official Covid-19 Diet
''Food miles' is a big issue, so I'm reducing the distance my food travels by moving my fridge into the living room.'
Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'
'I just got the medium popcorn this time.'
'The customer is always right...'
Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."
'The doctor told me to introduce more greens into my diet.'
You are what you eat (Nuts).
Fast Food Dieter
"I'm on a diet, how many calories in a fly?"
Exit. My problem is restaurants have drive-throughs, and fitness centers don't.
Calorie averaging...With the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get one French fry.
'I warned you about stuffing yourself with carbs, didn't I?'
"Well, then - two apples a day."
Weight Gain Denial
Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!
I grew up vegetarian. Wow. That takes work to stay strong. What motivates you? Hey, lettuce brain! Peer pressure.
"30 million cookies and thousands of gallons of milk all in one night? Yes, I'd say we've got dietary issues to address."
"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."
"Do you know donuts have fewer calories than you? I guess that would explain your muffin top."
'No, it's not water. You seem to be retaining food.'
Before and After Holiday Diet
'I'm fat, I eat too much and my blood pressure is high. . . Have a beer and some chips but feel guilty about it.'
'The items with the little hearts will clog your arteries the fastest.'
"Got anything else? I gave up carbs."
'I'm afraid I can't accept that excuse Mrs Hart. It isn't possible to inhale second hand calories.'
'It's a simple matter of checks and balances: your waistline has spread and your brain has shrunk.'
Spanx Tells Me No
Anti-diet Humorist Gifts Collection
Anti-diet Humorist Mugs
Explore our collection of food-loving, body-positive mugs that perfectly capture the spirit of anti-diet humor.
Anti-diet Humorist Pillows
Discover cozy pillows with cheeky anti-diet messages—ideal for creating a relaxing, positive space inspired by humor and self-acceptance.
Anti-diet Humorist Prints
Brighten your decor with humorous prints celebrating body positivity and food joy—art that makes a statement and spreads good vibes.
Anti-diet Humorist T-Shirts
Check out our witty t-shirts that make a statement for food freedom and self-love—great for anyone who loves humor and empowerment.