Annual Office Meeting Gifts

"It's all a matter of planning...."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

"Uh-oh...it's starting to delegate work to me."

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

'The boss put his picture up to enspire us. But it just isn't having that effect on me.'

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

"Good morning. Fen, Boscage, Bracken & Spinney."

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

'Thanks to our exensive cost-cutting efforts, we managed to turn a profit.'

'It could be worse. Imagine what it'd be like if we hadn't gone to that team building session last week.'

"Any further comments? Alright then, we're adjourned."

"We missed the meeting, but there might be a couple of the little muffins left."

"Sklar, Liebowitz, Rubin and Kaminsky... Attorneys a go-go."

'Uh, yeah, the picture resolution is great.'

"I hear you've got quite a reputation with the girls around the office."

"I'm going in."

People who work-from-home, annual get together.

'Remember Nitro, keep the engine running and once we've bagged the bonus cheques you floor the peddle.'

Top Secret/Middle Secret/Bottom Secret

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

"Agenda item 14 C, does anyone have any idea what happened in Game of Thrones?"

"Take the severance package, Hayward. The rest of the board wanted a ritual slaying."

"Now, now, Harrison, we all start somewhere."

'Due to budget cutbacks we are combining our annual employee dinner with The Seven Basic Quality Control Tools Training.'

"We apparently exceeded our expectations but, do any of you remember what they were?"

'Since you're not happy here, we're moving you over there.'

"Oxygen masks. When a meeting gets so boring as to be life-threatening, they automatically drop down!"

'I'm pretty sure it's just plain old Tuesday. Bath towel Tuesday is next week.'

". . . and in the immortal words of the man on our nameplate, 'In this world, nothing is certain but death.'"

"The steering-committee three are we. Run it by us, and we'll see."