Annual Meeting Gifts

'Welcome to our Annual 'The Sales Goals Are Delusional' Party.'

'Thanks to our exensive cost-cutting efforts, we managed to turn a profit.'

'Hold on ? I have a followup question for you to evade.'

"The stockholders are demanding bold, decisive decisions, so let's blow off the annual meeting and head straight for happy hour!"

'Due to budget cutbacks we are combining our annual employee dinner with The Seven Basic Quality Control Tools Training.'

"The shareholders are here for the annual meeting."

"We've got a long meeting today, but not to worry, folks. I made sure we won't run out of coffee."

Publisher reading his Annual Accounts: "My favourite publication!"

'Well, what kind of turnout did you expect?'

"On the bright side, I'd like to point out that employee posture has never been better."

"Don't start blubbing - they could stampede."

". . . and in the immortal words of the man on our nameplate, 'In this world, nothing is certain but death.'"

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

People who work-from-home, annual get together.

Shareholders Meeting - The next item is Directors' salaries....

A man giving a speech at the "Umpteenth Annual Convention".

"I accept this award...for my team...who are cheering way too loudly."

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

"It's all a matter of planning...."

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

'It makes conferences so much cheaper, no travel costs and we only need to buy our own drinks!'

Annual Mensa Convention: 'Ok, who's the genius who forgot to send out the invitations?'

'Uh, yeah, the picture resolution is great.'

'Remember Nitro, keep the engine running and once we've bagged the bonus cheques you floor the peddle.'

Friends of the Royal Academy - Annual Dinner

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

"We apparently exceeded our expectations but, do any of you remember what they were?"

"As company chairman I'd like to thank you all for participating in the evenings entertainment and saving me �4000."

"Our profits have been out-sourced ."

"It's their big annual event—the Run for the Roses."