Annual General Meeting Gifts

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'...and I would also like to deny that I spend all my time on the golf course.'

Is there a company doctor in the house?

'Does anyone have any serious questions to raise regarding the first pack of my holiday snaps?'

'Remember Nitro, keep the engine running and once we've bagged the bonus cheques you floor the peddle.'

"Negotiations are progressing. No one's made a gratuitous personal attack in 12 minutes."

The Hot Air Sports Club AGM

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

"It's all a matter of planning...."

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

'Thanks to our exensive cost-cutting efforts, we managed to turn a profit.'

'It makes conferences so much cheaper, no travel costs and we only need to buy our own drinks!'

Annual Mensa Convention: 'Ok, who's the genius who forgot to send out the invitations?'

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

People who work-from-home, annual get together.

Friends of the Royal Academy - Annual Dinner

'Due to budget cutbacks we are combining our annual employee dinner with The Seven Basic Quality Control Tools Training.'

"We apparently exceeded our expectations but, do any of you remember what they were?"

"We're on track for net zero."

". . . and in the immortal words of the man on our nameplate, 'In this world, nothing is certain but death.'"

"Our profits have been out-sourced ."

Businessman's schedule full of confrontations.

"Motion denied then"

Nicola Sturgeon

First Annual Psychic Convention

'No wonder we're losing money! --This organizational chart is upside down!'

'Hold on ? I have a followup question for you to evade.'

"In order to expedite this meeting, I'm putting you all on mute."

"Alright, who said that?"

The Butlers Ball.