Animal Satire Fan Gifts

"It is the complete works of shakespeare alright but the pig's claiming he wrote them."

'Instinct is no excuse.'

Irritable Owl Syndrome

'I've been wallowing in mud my whole life and look at me.'

'Five day waiting period? Man, I need to resolve a conflict right now.'

"Who died?"

Make it rain!

"Yeah, I'm already 24 hours old, way past my physical peak: I need to find a mate quick..."

"I'm angry-white-male with bi-polar issues! You got a problem with that buddy?!"

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

"Author does not do tricks."

'Oh Hi!'

The only time cats are known to laugh.

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

The americanisation of vulture.

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

'There's nothing wrong with your heart. It's your soft chocolate center.'

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

'The Buck Stops Here.'

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

Great moments in art dogs playing poker, cats playing Pictionary,

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

Where Shaving Cream Comes From

Penguin

'Ha ha! No kidding! You're pretty much most people's worst enemy.'