Animal Psychology Pillows

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"She has these fantasies that she ‘rescued’ me, and I just let her believe it."

Beware - Dog with Unhappy Childhood.

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Police Feline Unit

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"Why do they do that?"

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"No no, I said sit!!"

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Licensed Therapist

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"It get it – you're hungry."

Cats may love you, but dogs go all the way.

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

Romantic Giraffes

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."