Animal Psychology Gifts

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"She has these fantasies that she ‘rescued’ me, and I just let her believe it."

Beware - Dog with Unhappy Childhood.

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

Police Feline Unit

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"Why do they do that?"

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Licensed Therapist

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"No no, I said sit!!"

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

Cats may love you, but dogs go all the way.

"It get it – you're hungry."

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

Romantic Giraffes

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

Dog Nightmares

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."