Animal Psychology Fan Pillows

"I, for one, refuse to just sit at the door pining for his return."

Five minutes after you leave the house: "What if they never come back?!"

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"Are there treats? Just grab the treats and get outta there!"

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"This says dogs can exhibit feelings of jealousy."

"I have spirit, yes I do. I have spirit, how 'bout you?"

"Instead of wagging my tail, running around and jumping all over you, I sent you an E-card."

"When I was a puppy, I barked as a puppy, I understood as a puppy, I thought as a puppy. But when I became a dog, I put away puppy things except for my shabby, old, beat-up stuffy toy. I still freaking love this thing."

"I can’t believe you’re doing this! I have abandonment issues! Abandonment issues!!!"

"He may be neutered and declawed, but he's still dangerous."

Goldfish evolution - "...it's called evolution and it means in a few years we'll walk right out that door."

'Humans do it, why couldn't we? Instead of chasing food, we could breed it: It's all explained in my report...'

"I'm a monster."

"When I go, I’d like my ashes dumped on top of a squirrel’s head."

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

"Last night I dreamed I caught my tail."

'I suppose this means you won't be fetching my slippers anymore.'

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

Cat going to litter box with newspaper to read.

The universe that has me at the center of it is my kind of universe!

Cat does not want to chase the stick.

"Stupid obedience school. As if we don't want to learn physics or computer science or something."

"Putting him on a diet was easy. Just hide a pill in his food and he'll never touch it."

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

"Wait ... now I forgot what I was going to bark at you for."

"I was a dog in a previous life, but I came back as a god."

"I bark and I bark and I bark, and yet, somehow, I'm still unhappy."

"Now, the last one was not a "mating call", but a "mates call". I agree that they are very similar, but it's important not to mix them up..."

"Should I tell her I'm a PTSD support dog specializing in disease and illegal drug scent detection?" "Should I tell him his ear's inside out?"