Animal Psychology Fans Pillows

'And how long do you think you may have had OCD?'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Dog Nightmares

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"I can’t believe you’re doing this! I have abandonment issues! Abandonment issues!!!"

"When I was a puppy, I barked as a puppy, I understood as a puppy, I thought as a puppy. But when I became a dog, I put away puppy things except for my shabby, old, beat-up stuffy toy. I still freaking love this thing."

"Instead of wagging my tail, running around and jumping all over you, I sent you an E-card."

"I have spirit, yes I do. I have spirit, how 'bout you?"

"This says dogs can exhibit feelings of jealousy."

Goldfish evolution - "...it's called evolution and it means in a few years we'll walk right out that door."

"I'm a monster."

'I suppose this means you won't be fetching my slippers anymore.'

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

"Last night I dreamed I caught my tail."

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

"Putting him on a diet was easy. Just hide a pill in his food and he'll never touch it."

"Stupid obedience school. As if we don't want to learn physics or computer science or something."

"Do you think those sounds they make are some primitive attempt to communicate with each other?"

"Should I tell her I'm a PTSD support dog specializing in disease and illegal drug scent detection?" "Should I tell him his ear's inside out?"

"What do I remember about my mother? Well, for starters, she was delicious."

"The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates. For dogs maybe, but not for cats.

"I, for one, refuse to just sit at the door pining for his return."

"Every year, the zebras get faster and faster."

'It's probably your own fear of inadequacy.'

'I'm afraid to ask.'

"We laugh, but it's a mirthless laugh."

Reptilian trauma.

"Lassie! Get help!!"

"God, they're needy."

"Have you ever asked yourself why people call you bad dog?"

"Step on it, Roger!"

"Yeah, we stop roaming at this time of year and stay close to the Christmas tree..."

A lemming suffering from survivor's guilt.